


But We're Here

by fandomshere_fandomsthere



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: F/M, Ficlet Collection, M/M, Past Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-08-17 11:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8142488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomshere_fandomsthere/pseuds/fandomshere_fandomsthere
Summary: A series of one shots that are too short to be independent stories.





	1. But We're Here

                Dan sat on the steps of his porch, looking up at the stars, the summer air clinging hot and sticky to his skin. The world was quiet, almost like it was holding its breath. A myriad of thoughts ran through his mind, indistinguishable and jumbled, as he brought a hastily made, newspaper wrapped blunt to his lips. His eyes slid closed, savoring the feeling of the smoke rushing down his throat and into his lungs. The jumbled mess of thoughts quieted a bit, and Dan exhaled with a sigh. The smoke swirled into the night sky, wrapping around the stars like a blanket.

                “There you are,” Arin said from behind him. The screen door creaked and slammed shut, and there Arin was beside him, black t-shirt clinging to his form, jeans absent, boxers in their place. The two of them sat in silence for a long moment, Dan occasionally inhaling deeply, Arin watching the fireflies drift around the pond across the dirt driveway.

                “You ever think about how small we are?” Dan said. He gestured vaguely at the expanse of black sky above them. “Just look. The sky’s endless, dude. Billions of stars. Countless more that we can’t see. Millions upon millions of planets.”

                “I think about that all the time,” Arin agreed.

                “We’re pretty much nothing,” Dan said quietly, still looking at the stars.

                Arin gently put his hand on Dan’s knee, drawing his attention. “But we’re here.”

                “Yeah,” Dan said after a moment. He put his hand over Arin’s, ghosted his thumb across the other man’s knuckles as he laced their fingers together. “We’re here.”


	2. His Name Was Arin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is fleeting.

     "Do you ever get the feeling you ruined someone's life?"

     Dan doesn't need to look up to feel Barry's stare bore into his curls from across the table. The cafe is relatively quiet around them, all soft chatter and the occasional laugh. Dan's mug burns his palms, so he sets it down and fiddles with his spoon instead, watching the freshly poured cream swirl around in his coffee. The soft clink of metal against ceramic is deafening in Dan's ears.

     "No, not really," Barry finally says. He takes a sip from his own mug. "You?"

     "Yeah." Dan runs a hand through his hair and lets out a ragged sigh. "Yeah, I have."

     "Ruined someone's life or gotten the feeling you did?" Barry wipes the whipped cream from his mocha off of his face, but some is still caught in his mustache.

     "Both, I guess," Dan replies with a shrug. He finally looks up at his roommate, whose eyes are full of concern.

     "Sounds a little narsacisstic to me," Barry says in a lightly sarcastic tone. "I mean, how could _one person_ ruin someone else's entire life?"

     Dan huffs a bitter little chuckle at that. "I guess you're right."

     Barry's lips quirk up in the hint of a smile. "So do I know whose life you supposedly ruined?"

     "No," Dan answers. "I...I left him behind a long time ago actually." Barry doesn't answer, only leans forward expectantly. Dan lets out a small sigh and drinks deeply from his chipped red mug. The burning coffee hurts his throat but also gives him courage. Barry is still patiently waiting. Dan opens his mouth to speak but falters and stares out the window instead.

     "He would have loved a day like today," Dan says softly. "He said rain always helped him think." His eyes trace two drops of water on the window pane make their way to the sill.

     "What was his name?" Barry presses.

     "Arin," Dan says hoarsely. "Arin Hanson. I knew him for a year. I was twenty-eight. He was twenty."

     "Damn," Barry says. "This was ten years ago?"

     Dan hums in agreement and sips his coffee again. "I was young. So was he. We were both stupid."

     "Were you in love?"

     Dan keeps staring out the window. After a long moment, he turns to Barry. "Yeah."

     "Tell me about him."

     Dan does. It takes a while for him to be comfortable with it all, but soon enough, he's telling Barry of his and Arin's shenanigans with fondness dripping from his voice and a smile constantly on his face. Memories of Dan's love come flooding back: his laugh, his smile, the stupid songs he made up, the way he always drew little faces on the post-it notes that he left Dan on the fridge when he went to work. Dan leaves out the more... _intimate_ parts of their relationship, but he tells all the rest to Barry.

     _God, I was in love,_ Dan thinks to himself with a pang of regret.

     "So what happened to fuck all that up?" Barry asks. Dan realizes with a start that they've been there for at least a couple of hours; the sky is starting to darken.

     "I guess I did," Dan says, a bitter smile gracing his lips. "You know me. I'm terrified of commitment."

     He sighs yet again before continuing. "After we'd been together for a little over a year, I started to get jittery. I was afraid that I was dragging him down, or that he was doing that to me, or some stupid shit like that. We'd already lived together for six months, which is a _huge_ step for someone like me. I just kept thinking about marriage and buying a house instead of renting a shit apartment and getting a dog and it terrified me. So one day while he was at work, I packed a suitcase, got in my car, and left. No note. No phone call. No text. Just an empty apartment and my keys on the coffee table."

     "Dude," Barry says, eyes wide.

     "I know," Dan replies gravely. "I regretted it the moment I left, but I didn't know what else to do." He runs a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up at odd angles.

     "What did he do?"

     "Panicked. Thought I got kidnapped. I ignored so many of his calls. After like a month I had second thoughts and called him." A bitter laugh. "He _loved_ that. He didn't even yell at me. All he said to me was, _'You left. You left, without even letting me know. Do you know how much I panicked? I went to the police because I thought someone had kidnapped you. I cried myself to sleep for a week, worrying about you. I've cried over you so much. Too much, Dan. I loved you. I loved you, and you loved me, and you fucking_ left _without so much as a goodbye. Don't ever call me again. I hate you.'"_

"Jesus," Barry breathes.

     "I mean, do you blame him? What if Ross and Holly just suddenly up and went across the country?"

     "I'd be pretty pissed and heartbroken," Barry admits.

     "No kidding."

     There's a long, heavy silence before Barry quietly asks, "Do you miss him?"

                        "Every day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something I whipped up to get back in the swing of things :)


End file.
